It still pisses me off to wonder why the most fucked up things happen to the most special people...
And this instance is of no exception;
Tuesday I learned through Lisa P. our friend Shane O Leary had passed away..Many different feelings enveloped my mind;...A plethora of emotions whirlwinded its way through my psyche, in different stages...first sadness,then confusion with a justifiable does of anger....
There is NO reason to take the good hearted away from this Earth, especially a soul that has given to this world and NEVER asked for a thing in return...and this alone I ask 'why'?
Why, take a dedicated hard working loving parent away from their child? Why rob yet another beautiful, multi dimensional soul of this Earth, extinguishing their light leaving their family, friends...and finally (but definitely not least) their children bewildered, questioning, lost, vulnerable...alone?
Forgive me for rambling, but I NEED to get this off my chest, Ive had a good, long, hard [much needed] cry on Tuesday & Wednesday, Im still mourning..to a point, but its quickly being cast aside with the inevitable anger that I can no longer hide. I really wanted to call some people who knew her as well as I did , but they dont live anywhere around here..also I know it would be anything short of impossible to get a word out edgewise without completely falling apart, & Im still not strong enough to either, I admit it...Ill own it*
On alighter note..A brief history............................
I remember meeting her through a friend of mine named Lisa P. I believe it was in 1992, I was 22 . She was 20, I remember her coming over to our place in Worcester Massachusetts with a motley crew of these raver/skater/tagger kids a pretty tight consortium of characters made their way in/out of the apartment on Stockton Street, those times I will not soon forget; anyways, we seemed to have many many elements in common..music,graffitti/art, fashion & our twisted sense of humor mainly..I recall many a night spent listening to bands like Throwing Muses, Fugazi, Cocteau Twins, Rancid,Operation Ivy and countless others, far too many to name;
As time went on and we became closer, I learned that she was @ Rob Roy Academy in Auburn, Massachusetts and was a student then, but eventually graduated, and was beginning to make a name for herself within the company. Eventually Ive seen her 'work' and what 'skills' she was able to demonstrate aesthetically it was only a matter of time before I HAD to have her dye [bleach] my hair, which occured on numerous occasions...and lemme tell you, noone..and I mean NOONE can do hair like Shaney and to this very day, NOONE can hold a candle to her skills either.
Ill miss most of all her ever infectious laugh, her snorking..her 'heeheehee*snork*heeheee' only thing missing was the milk streaming out of her nose, also our impromptu road trips out to the 'country' of east bumfuck to....god knows where, we drove and drove but a destination wasnt always a necessity...and those are the BEST road trips of all; But in time she and I both ended up in relationships she had a child, I eneded up in Hawaii, NYC and a billion other locations, and we eventually lost touch w/ eachother...or so I thought.
Until one day I think in 2006 I received a friend request on another social networking site she then (come to think of it, alwas has)...used her handle 'Ida Know'.. first thought on my mind was 'Who in the fuck is this 'Ida Know' chick?" come to find out it was Shane, we began chatting online about our endeavors in life, gossiped, took/gave advice to eachother and reached out to eachother as much as the keyboard would allow...then one of our last conversations was in November 2009 centered around coming up to visit, and maybe going to a gig/concert for old times sake, and to see her son Cameron whom I havent seen since at least 2000.
needless to say, due to timing, expenses, & responsibilities, I NEVER had that opportunity to touch base with her.
Ill end on this note because its hard to type when theres tears in my eyes;
Sleep tight Shane...Heaven apparently needed another Angel, you will be missed beyond comprehension...
Bless your Family, Cameron and Jake.
FRANKKUBB
